The story behind the song.
Okay so this song came from a very specific kind of sadness — the kind that sneaks up on you when you go home after moving out for the first time.
I’d gone home for Christmas, and everything was almost the same… but not quite. My mom had gotten new glass jars for the pantry. The lightbulbs in the kids’ bathroom were darker than they used to be. The washing machine had been fixed. The leaky sink was gone. My sister had reorganized everything, so I was a little lost.
All those tiny differences, that really didn’t matter, started piling up in my chest until I felt this weird ache. Like I was slowly losing touch with home. My finger wasn’t on the pulse of things anymore.
It was such a strange, lonely realization — that life at home keeps moving, even without you. I was so happy to be there, of course, but also a little heartbroken that time didn’t stop just because I left.
And that’s really where “Getting Old” came from.
The Writing Process
The first verse and chorus spilled out pretty quickly while I was home on Christmas break — I think I even wrote a few of the first lyrics sitting in my sister’s room. Then I really polished the song up once I got back from vacation, curled up on the floor of my basement apartment, reliving that feeling of being home but not quite belonging there the same way anymore.
This song is one of the most specific I’ve ever written. For the longest time, I worried that being too descriptive might make a song harder for people to relate to. Then I heard someone say (and I wish I remembered who!) that the best songs make listeners feel like they’re getting actual puzzle pieces of your real life. So I decided to stop worrying about “too specific” and just write what was true.
So yeah — the jars were real. The bathroom really was dark. My sister really did reorganize everything.
Somehow, through all those specifics, people have told me they can relate, which I think is really cool.
The Production
I originally wrote “Getting Old” on guitar, but I could just hear it as a piano song. The only problem is that I quit piano lessons at like nine (a decision I regret every single day, haha). Producing it was basically a crash course in figuring things out by ear and a lot of editing to make it sound like the piano I could hear in my head.
This one is completely self-produced, which I’m really proud of. I’ve produced other songs myself, but they’ve always been pretty stripped back. “Getting Old” feels fuller, more textured — like my sound finally grew up a little too.
Funny story: I actually shelved the song for a year after finishing it. I’d been working on “Table for Two” with my friend Velvet Year around the same time, and after hearing his amazing production skills, I suddenly felt like mine was actually no good at all and should never see the light of day. HAHA!
Then later, I was working on another song with my friend Zack, and I thought, “Hmm, maybe I should pull “Getting Old” back out and see if it’s as bad as I remember.” And when I listened, I literally laughed. I was like, “Wait. This is actually really good.” So uh yeah… sometimes you just need to give yourself space to appreciate your own work.
The Meaning
Writing “Getting Old” made me realize how silly and sacred the whole thing was. Like — yes, I was sad about the pantry jars changing, but only because I had a home and people I loved enough to miss.
Being like “boohoo, my family fixed the leaky faucet” is so dumb, LOL! But those feelings were real. And I think it is a kind of grief that a lot of young adults feel but don’t always talk about: realizing that your childhood home doesn’t quite belong to you anymore, even though it still feels like yours in your heart.
I hope the song helps other people feel seen in that. It’s a gentle kind of heartbreak — growing up. But it’s a blessing.
The Aesthetic
When I think of “Getting Old,” I always picture soft purples and blues. That nostalgic “sky right after the sun goes down” color where everything feels both cozy and a little sad.
The album cover is actually a photo of baby me that I think is so funny. My mom told me she had just gotten her new fancy camera and was testing it around the house, and apparently, I was being a brat and did not want my picture taken. I’m clearly very glad for it now LOL.
If “Getting Old” had a scent, it would definitely be pumpkin or pine candles — the kind that burn on your stove top during the holidays and make your chest ache with nostalgia in the best way.
The Heart of It
At its core, “Getting Old” is a love letter to home — even as it changes, even as we change — home still loves you… just from a little farther away.
I hope you like it!
XOXO, Attalie
